A Stop on the Way to the Beach
by AJMarks
Summary: The Doctor and Amy end up in the Battlestar Galactica universe while trying to go to the beach. This is their encounter with the Cylons and the Colonials.


Disclaimer: I don't own 'Battlestar Galactica' or 'Doctor Who', just having a bit of fun with the characters.

A Stop on the Way to the Beach

by AJ Marks

The centurion made its way down the hallway, towards the supply room to make necessary repairs on the engines. An unusual sound caused him to stop and look back into the hallway. He noticed nothing at first, then much to his programming something began appearing in the middle of the hallway. It looked like a blue box that was forming out of nothing.

The noise finally stopped and the centurion was now looking at a blue box that should not have been there. The door opened allowing two humans, one male the other female to exit. Startled the centurion went into action even as the conversation came from the two humans.

"This doesn't look like the beach. Where are we now?" the woman said, who had red hair.

"Well Miss Pong, we are where we are," the male replied.

"Are you sure you know how to drive the TARDIS?" the woman said.

"Of course, why do you ask, ah, bipedial machines, fascinating," the male said suddenly waving a weird thing at the centurion.

"Humans," the centurion said. "How did you get on board the basestar?"

"Completely robotic," the male said. Now walking in a circle around the centurion.

"Um, Doctor, it doesn't seem too friendly," the woman said.

The centurion finally sounded the intruder alarm and in moments a few more armed centurions arrived.

"Oh dear," the male said.

"Take them to Baltar."

Baltar turned his chair around at the sound of the door opening and footsteps coming into the command room. He turned stopping in shock at what he saw. Standing in front of him were three centurions, Lucifer, and to his amazement, two humans.

"Explain Lucifer?" Baltar said, looking at the IL series Cylon.

"We do not know Baltar, only that they appeared inside," Lucifer said.

"Um, perhaps I can explain," the male said, taking a step forward then looked around with a spin. "I mean you are the great Baltar."

"You know of me then?" Baltar said feeling slightly pleased that his name had reached to others.

"Um, no, but that doesn't mean you're not great. Allow me to introduce ourselves, I am the Doctor, and this is Amy Pong," he said.

"Doctor? Doctor who?" Baltar replied.

"Ah, yes, exactly, well actually just the Doctor," he said taking out a cylindrical looking thing and waved it around then looked at it before racing from one side of the command room to the other. "Interesting."

"Would you mind keeping still, you are our prisoners," Baltar said, getting irritated. "And how did you get on board my ship?"

"Um Doctor, shouldn't we at least cooperate?" Amy said.

"What," the Doctor said stopping in mid stride to look up at Baltar. "This is fascinating, I haven't seen this type of technology before."

"Then you don't know where we are," Amy said.

"Um, no," the Doctor said.

"I can tell you where you are, on MY SHIP!" Baltar said losing his patience at the apparent lack of conversation.

"I also don't think we're on Earth anymore," Amy said.

"Earth?" Baltar said sitting up a bit straighter. "The thirteenth tribe of mankind."

"Thirteenth tribe, never heard that before, but then again maybe I have, are you related to the Daleks?" the Doctor asked Lucifer.

"The who?" Baltar asked.

"Daleks, nasty race, anything that isn't pure like they are they destroy," the Doctor said.

Baltar looked at the two before finally making up his mind. "Centurion put them in a cell until we can get a proper name and reason why they are here out of them?"

"By your command," the centurion replied.

Baltar watched as the two humans were led off the ship. He then turned to Lucifer hoping for a better explanation.

"It appears there is a blue square object in one of the hallways," Lucifer said. "It appeared at the same time they did.

"Blue, square shaped thing?" Baltar replied not sure Lucifer made any sense now.

"That is correct, we have not been able to gain access to it though," Lucifer replied.

"Keep me informed if anything else happens," Baltar replied.

"Doctor, what do you mean you don't know where we are?" Amy Pong asked looking at the Doctor.

She watched as he waved the screwdriver around a bit before looking at his watch. "I see, of course," he finally said causing Amy to frown.

She waited patiently for a few more seconds as he continued to take more readings. "Doctor, where are we?" she finally asked pinning him with a glance.

"Yes, sorry, its quite fascinating Pong," the Doctor replied. "Complete robotics quite unlike the Darleks. I couldn't even find a bit of organics, but then again, they are Cylons."

"You know of them?" Amy finally said.

"No, well yes, but why did the TARTIS send us here?" the Doctor said pondering the question. "Especially considering they hate humans."

"They hate humans, oh great, that makes me feel so much better," Amy replied. "I'm stuck on a ship surrounded by machines that hate me, perfect."

"You're only partly surrounded, and there is one human on board who appears to be in command, so they don't entirely hate humans," he said now looking at the force screen keeping them in the cell.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Amy asked.

"Well yes, if Baltar was not here, you'd be dead," the Doctor replied honestly.

"That doesn't make me feel better Doctor," Amy said sitting down in a huff.

"Ah, here we go," the Doctor said watching as the force field turned off. "Shall we, there's someplace I want to go."

"All right," Amy said hoping they were headed off this ship.

* * *

Apollo climbed out of his viper having finished his patrol. The only good news had been no Cylon patrols. He hoped that would continue for a bit longer. He spotted Starbuck, walking towards him.

"Another patrol, come and gone," Starbuck said.

"And you've got another scheme," Apollo said, seeing Starbuck stop then look back at him.

"I never said anything about that," he finally replied.

"Didn't have to, you're eyes give you away," Apollo answered.

They started walking towards the elevators when a strange whirring noise filled the hanger. Apollo stopped, as did everyone else, and looked around for several seconds as it got louder. A blue box slowly began to form in the middle of the hanger. Apollo was too shocked to even move, as he watched it appear and finally become solid. He rubbed his eyes, looked over at an equally shocked Starbuck, then back at the box, which had the word 'telephone' on it.

The doors opened allowing a dark-haired man, tall and thin with a suit and a bow tie on, followed by a young woman with red hair, wearing a red shirt and skirt.

"Now where are we, better not be another Cylon ship," the girl said.

"Ah," the man said, waving something around before answering, "Well Miss Pong, if you had observed when exiting you'd have noticed we're surrounded by humans."

"Yeah, and they're looking at us," the woman said.

"I am the Doctor," the man said, looking at the strange instrument. "Interesting, same technology, guess we're still not home."

"I knew it, you don't know how to drive it!"

"Nonsense, it's just, temperamental, that's all," the man said.

"Great, you're having a fight with the TARDIS," the woman said.

"Um, excuse me," Apollo said, his hand on his blaster, unsure of what to make of these two.

"Ah, military command structure," the man said, walking up to him. "I am the Doctor, this is my companion Amy Pong."

"Doctor? Doctor who?" Apollo said, wondering what he was a doctor of.

"Yep, that me, anyways," the Doctor looked around for a second before looking back at Apollo, "where are we?"

"Apollo, I think I've gone crazy, you should take me off patrols, I'm seeing two unknown people, who came out of a blue box," Starbuck said.

"If you're crazy than so am I," Apollo replied.

"Maybe you can take us to your leader," the Doctor said.

Apollo looked over at Starbuck, then back at the two people, the doctor was still waving a small cylindrical device around, and the woman had her arms crossed giving the doctor a glare.

"I guess," Apollo finally said, seeing Boomer and Jolly come down the elevator, also looking at the blue box in the hanger and the two people.

"Um, the bridge asked us to come down, said something happened in the hanger, who are they?" Boomer said, looking confused.

"Ah, I am the Doctor, and this is Amy Pong," the Doctor said.

"Don't ask," Apollo whispered seeing Boomer begin a question. "Stay here and 'guard' whatever that is, Starbuck and I will take them to see my father."

The four of them stepped onto the elevator, with the Doctor waving the devise around and looking at it.

"What is that?" Starbuck finally asked.

"Screwdriver," the Doctor said.

Apollo looked at Starbuck, who shrugged. It did not look like a screwdriver to him. He decided to not say anything, the Doctor looked crazy enough, last thing he needed, a wacko running through the ship. He led them to his father's office, knocking before entering.

"Ah, Apollo, what happened…" his voice trailed off upon seeing the Doctor and Amy. "Who are they?"

"I am the Doctor, and this is Amy Pong," the Doctor said.

"Doctor? Doctor who?" Adama asked.

"Why does everyone say that?" the Doctor said, looking over at Amy.

"It's just the Doctor," Amy said. "It's confusing, but it's the truth."

Apollo shrugged his shoulders at his father, who continued to look at the two. The Doctor waved his screwdriver around again, looking at it, then his watch.

"Ah, yes I see," he finally said.

"Um, this is a bit strange, but what is going on?" Adama finally asked.

"That's what I'd like to know," the girl, called Amy, said, glaring at the Doctor, hands crossed.

"Well, it seems we crossed dimensions," the Doctor said. "Yes, of course, makes sense, the Cylons don't exist in our area of space, and I don't exist over here, which is why the Tardis brought me here, it makes sense now."

Apollo stopped trying to make sense of anything the Doctor said. Fortunately his father spoke up for him. "Sorry, but what makes sense?"

"Well, time and space are an infinitely curved loop, by such any possible outcome can happen, and does. By slipping thought the seams of space we arrived here by mistake, simple isn't it,' the Doctor said.

"You mean we came here by mistake?" Amy said, hands on her hips. "I thought you said you knew how to drive it!"

"I do," the Doctor said. "I just didn't see the loop."

"Doesn't explain how you knew what Cylons were," Amy said.

"Well, I didn't or not at that moment, but I do now," the Doctor said. "And they are, well, humans."

"Thank you Doctor obvious," Amy mumbled, enough for Apollo to hear her. It still answered nothing, or who they were.

"How did you get here?" Adama asked. "And why?"

"The TARDIS, a time machine and dimensional spaceship, the last one of the Time Lords," the Doctor said.

"Time Lords?" Adama asked. Apollo looked at his father, who looked back at him. Starbuck had sat down and appeared completely bewildered about it all, merely throwing his hands up when they looked at him. It seemed more and more confusing to all three.

"it seems like we arrived here by mistake, I think I can get us back to our dimension and back on track," the Doctor said.

"And our vacation?" Amy said. "You promised me a beach vacation."

"No worries Pong, it was a great pleasure to meet you," the Doctor said, turning from Amy to Adama. "I'm afraid that me and my assistant have many other journeys to undertake, and I don't want to take up any more of your time, so if we can go back to our ship?"

Adama nodded, watching as Apollo and Starbuck left with the two. Adama pulled out a couple of pain pills to prevent a headache he knew would come over this, before deciding not to ever mention this in his logs. No one would believe him.

The Doctor waited patiently on the elevator, quiet for now, which had Starbuck and Apollo concerned. They walked back onto the hanger, then over to the TARDIS.

"You both fit in there?" Starbuck finally asked.

"Yes, its bigger on the inside," Amy said, pulling open the door. "See."

Starbuck glanced inside, shocked at the interior. "Apollo, you gotta see this!" he said waving his friend over.

Apollo, then Boomer looked inside stunned into silence.

"There's even a pool in the back," Amy said.

"Pool?" Apollo managed to blurt out.

They watched the two walk inside, close the door, and the mysterious whirring noise start up.

Amy watched the Doctor as they landed again. Taking a chance, she opened the door, seeing some strange spaceship bridge, wondering where they were this time before the Doctor barged out.

"Spock, analysis?"

The End


End file.
